Getting through the ‘Back Slide’

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There’s always room for growth, that’s where the new year is great, an opportunity for starting fresh, with a new approach or with a reminder of what we already know intuitively with in us.Written by Simone Kopkas

I was considering this, this morning while trying to get back to sleep after being woken by my sweet 3 year old. Sleep when you have a young child or when you are recovering from a life threatening illness is so essential, for your recovery but also your sanity! There were stages in my recovery from Cancer that felt quite defeating, especially around sleep. These stages I refer to as the “back slide”. Though these stages are an essential part of ultimately recovering, when in the back slide, it can feel like you are back “there”; as in back in the scary Cancer place.

We need to allow the time and energy for the back slide. Its going to happen at some point- life happens! And life doesn’t always happen the way we want it to. We move forward and think we are making all this progress and it feels good and then all of a sudden we have either some kind of health relapse that reminds us of the unhealthy place we were once at or some other difficult thing turns up in our lives. Its going to happen at some point, so rather than being upset and frustrated with yourself, feeling like you are going backwards; draw on your resilience and ability to adapt. It is key to not add stress and anxiety to these situations, but to be kind and patient, as we would be to a good friend. To remind ourselves of the amazing progress we have made. This doesn’t mean I will negative things onto myself, it just means, I’m not shocked at life when it doesn’t go my way.

This is all more doable when we have explored our past and healed our childhood. That is, owning our story, not having our story own us. Our story when explored, can set us free or it can impede us on a daily basis in all aspects of our lives if left to its own devises. This can happen without us even recognising that it is simply us recreating our childhood everywhere we go and in everything we do. This can be so destructive to ourselves internally. Many of us say things to ourselves that we would never in our darkest moments consider saying to someone else. How can we be so hard on ourselves? This part is essential to healing; finding the love, compassion and peace within ourselves. Much of this is through forgiveness.

So, when I’m in the back slide, this doesn’t mean I am back at the beginning, back before I did so much of my healing. When you have gone through healing yourself, you create change and even if you wanted to, you never undo the growth and changes you have gone through. We are ever evolving and that is what keeps life interesting, even when the changes we are going through, don’t feel good at the time. It is just a temporary stage we are moving through, it is truly no more complicated than that. Keep taking small steps forward, and keep that curiosity to life always close by.

Every day I am more and more at peace with my life. As paraphrased from Joseph Campbell: “Its not the meaning of life” that people want “it is the feeling of being truly alive “ that they crave.

One Comment on “Getting through the ‘Back Slide’

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